Heavenly Sword (PS3)After playing Heavenly Sword I am ruined for big games. The size of Haevnly Sword's battles makes me feel like I am in a blockbuster movie, 2000 fully killable enemies is fun. If you want big battles Heavenly Sword is the one for you.
However apart from that there is little else to say. The gameplay is very good, the graphics very good, the story good, the replay value good. But there is no little detail I can mention about this game which makes it stand out.
Would I advise getting this game? ... Yes I think I would. The game is very good but nothing... special. So in all a very good game but with nothing unique. By the way the heroine is HOT!
Resistance: Fall Of Man (PS3)I have always been a big fan of the Ratchet and Clank series and one of the key features of the series was its unique playability (with the exception of Gladiator). I have not found any other game that is so easy to sit down, play and just have fun... until now. Surprise, surprise it's by the same developer; Insomniac have managed to capture my heart again with Resistance.
The plot is intriguing, despite the initial bog standard man-made virus which turns people into monsters sweeps across the world Resistance has the added element of Cold War paranoia and a US conspiracy which reveals itself through the game. Nathan Hale disappeared 5 days after landing in infected Britain from historical records these are his last days.
When you talk of great first person shooters Doom, Half Life and Quake will always come up and I would say now that the crown of FPS Deity has been passed to Resistance. Although Resistance has a single path through it's levels I don;t feel as though I am followiung a pre laid out plan. I feel like I am in control. The gameplay is unrivaled and the graphics are the best use of the PS3's new incredible power of any release game. The enviroments are so detailed and I saw "I Am Legend" today and the monsters in Resistance look almost that good which is high praise in deed. Needless to say I am hooked, as is my dad which means I can review the game's replay value as he accidentally deleted my save the game was as engasging the second time as the first. Insomniac's tounge in cheek approach to agmes is not missing from Resistance as I deiscovered in the creature's lab a "Danger: No Smoking" sign.
Beautiful, responsive, playable what else do I need? If you own a PS3 run out and buy Resistance nowwhile the shops are still open! If you don't own a PSŁ run out, buy one then buy Resistance! If you own a PS3 and Resistance complete it then start queing for next year's Resistance 2!
G-Max
The Gathering: Max (Event)
Okay. This IS a little late, but it still applies. The Gathering: MAX was a massive Christian event that took place on October 27th that I (Hacker) recently invited loads of my mates too including me (Venom). It is an event run by a group called Serious4God, and was a 'spin-off' kind of event of The Gathering, a yearly Christian event that takes place in February. The Gathering: MAX was an evangelistic 'bring your friends so they can see what Christianity means' event.
It took place at the NEC Arena in Birmingham, and over 6700 people packed it out in an amazing event. There were fantastic bands that rocked the roof (29th Chapter, Luv Esther, Delirious?, and The Gathering Band themselves) and got a massive reaction from the audience.
The speaker for the day, Mark Ritchie, had the tough task of grabbing the attention of nearly 7000 teenagers and showing them that Christianity, something that teenagers nowadays think of as a religion that has nothing more than pews, vicars and a looooot of boring stuff to do/read/listen to, was something that was both real and relevant to them. He succeeded. He was extremely funny, but had a point behind all of his humourous stories. More importantly, he didn't come across as a pushy 'bible bashing' preacher (as in he didnt attempt to force or con people into converting). Still, the results were bind-blowing. 1137 young people completed response cards to say that they wanted to start their journey as a Christian.
My favourite part of the event was seeing thousands of people going mental for Jesus, and seeing just over a thousand people to the backof the NEC to become Christians. I felt the presence of God more at that event than i ever have anywhere else in my life- God really met with loads of people at this FANTASTIC event.
What a birthday!
Summer Blockbusters
Harry Potter And The Order Of The Pheonix - FilmThe worst of the Harry Potter books makes the best of the Harry Potter films. The book was so bad I couldn't finish it, atrociously over written and dull . But the film managed to sift through the crap and discover pure gold.
My opinion of this film is complete contrary to what I thought of the other 4 films. I thought they were cut down far too much, didn't get enough of the plot and were instead filled with added scenes not from the books but made use of special effects (Most noticeable in Goblet Of Fire). This one was perfectly cut down and makes a superb film.
Rupert Grint, who if you have read my Ranthouse is near the top of my "Hate" list was tolerable in this film. not good but not as gut wrenchingly awful as his previous performances. He didn't pull odd faces like he was having his penis removed with a very slow miniature guillotine and throughout the whole film never said the words "bloody hell". I'm also not a big fan of Daniel Radcliff and his performance in this film is...for lack of a better phrase...the same. His performance is the same as all the other films however with less angst than he had in Goblet Of Fire which is a blessing to us all. So if you liked him in films 1-4 you'll like him in this one. The best performances undoubtedly come from Michael Gambon (Albus Dumbledore) Alan Rickman (Snape) and Imelda Staunton (Dolores Umbridge). Michael Gambon is a terrific actor and is the perfect Dumbledore. But if I had to choose the best performance of the film it would be Umbridge. She was creepy and I'd say scarier than Lord Voldemort! Also bearing a resmblance in chracter and acting to a certain former Prime Minister *cough*Thatcher*cough*.
The special effects were above par and the climax keeps you on the edge of your seat (alot more than the actual book did).
All in all it leaves you gagging for Half Blood Prince (Not only because Radcliff and probably Grint won't be in it) my favourite book of the series (I haven't read Deathly Hallows yet) A good film well worth seeing and well deserving of it's 4 stars.
Transformers - FilmThis film is so difficult to describe and therefore the task of reviewing it is daunting but I shall try. Fantastic special effects, great plot. The line "A driver doesn't choose the car, a car chooses it's driver" is corny and also used in the film "Herbie: Fully Loaded"
The acting is superb from Humans as well as robots. I was surprised by the distinct lack of big names but that was a good thing because no-one could have done a better job than the cats that was picked. I especially liked Josh Duhamel as Captain Lennox (to those who weren't paying that much attention in the film he was the main army guy) Shia LaBeouf (Louis in Even Stevens) was fabulous, alot better than he was in even Dtevens where i personally found him extremely annoying. I was however disappointed by the voice of Megatron. In the old cartoon series Megatron had a silky sly voice. Definitely evil something you could expect from an evil dictator in teb film he was just another robot.
The Transformers themselves were fabulous in Robot form but in car form (the Autobots) they were all gas guzzling General Motors 4x4s which makes me feel a better tag line for the film might have been 'Their War, Our O-Zone Layer" but as I said in Robot form, especially the Decepticons, were fantastic and although brought down by some questionable camera work the fight scenes were parallel to none (and yes I have see the Matrix, Spiderman...etc) apart from a few occasions in close combat when it looked like the robots were cuddling rather than fighting.
All in all a fantastic film experience which needs a cinema to enjoy to it's full. I only hope there is a Transformers 2. Seriously, SEE THIS MOVIE!
The Simpsons Movie - FilmA Satirical Gem. There are few films that make me want to role around clutching my stomach in hysterics. This club is reserved to such esteemed members as Hot Fuzz and The Monty Python Movies, The Simpsons Movie has now joined this club
Spiderman 3- PS2 Game
Well, i know that Stormo has already unleashed his review of the movie, however the greatness doesnt stop there for Spiderman 3. The game was released just before the movie was, and recently i bought it.Well, i say that i bought it, but really my brother got it for his birthday and never plays on it...The game was released for other consoles, however since i know the games vary slightly depending on what platform it is on, this review is solely for the PS2 version.
Just to get it out of the way, i shall mention the nagatives first. One thing that they should have done slightly better is the plot. It is nowhere like the plot of the movie, except for the fact that when you get near the end of the game you have to fight the main villains: Sandman, New Goblin and Venom (character, not GIGATOONS member. Although that would be quite cool...) The story goes on for ages about things like Giant Lizards and Asassins. None of it really suited Spiderman. Other than the plot, the game was quite sound, however there were a few other minor things. For example, the 'gang' element of the game- basically there are many territories in New York city and 5 gangs. The police is one of these gangs. When you (as Spiderman...did i not mention that yet? Oh. Well, you play as Spiderman throughout the whole game) do some crime-bashing such as beating up thugs, sorting out planted bombs or rescuing lost children, then the police gain that territory from some thug gangs. Spiderman, being Spiderman, has to help the police control the other gangs and make sure all is well in New York City. The only thing wrong with this is that there are SO many territories and it takes AGES to control them all- also, it's kinda copying some other games (ie. Need For Speed: Carbon...) and makes it seem like the writers cannot think of any original ideas. I think thats about it for the negatives, though...
Well done for reading this far. Now you get to hear all of the positives! Well, to put it bluntly, the game is SOOOOOOOOOO FUN! I could play it for 46 years non-stop and i wouldnt get bored. The element of swinging around the city works very well, and you really feel like a hero when you play it. The city is also very realistic, and there are no limits or invisible glass walls (dont you just HATE them in games...) just an entire city to explore! You can climb to the tip-top of the Empire State Building or just go for a swim in the lake in Central Park. Yeeey! The next thing that i can pick out are Spidermans powers, and things that you can do. You start off with simple moves like 3-hit combos and double-jumps; however you can unlock LOADS of amazing stunts, powers and attacks that are great to use. The graphics are great, and also the voiceovers are hilarious. For example, when you beat people up, Spiderman (voiced by Tobey Maguire himself) says things like: "Ok, it's time to hand out the T-Shirts. You know, the ones that say 'I Got My Butt Kicked By Spiderman And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt'". It's very funny. The narrator is great as well. The next thing on my long list of positives is the tutorial mission. Most games involve tutorials that are HELL to go through over again if you want to start again from the beginning. It's interesting, and quite fun to do over again. The black suit also works very well. You can put it on whenever you want to, and it increases your power, however it puts your resistance down- and it limits your spider-powers. When you want to take it off again you have to hit the buttons that flash up on the screen really quickly, and gets a bit annoying, but the suit altogether works well on the game. Another good thing is the way that the game works- some things involve you pressing buttons with correct timing, some involve pressing buttons really quickly, and some things you cant just beat up- you have to use your initiative to get through it.
I think thats all i can say about the game. I would advise you buy it-if you like Spiderman then you will love the game.
Pirates Of The Caribbean 3: At World's End - Film
To start with; fantastic! Like always, Pirates Of The Caribbean has fight scenes with no parallel and amazing stunts- second only to Spiderman (Spiderman having an unfair advantage with superpowers).
Good points: Like I said, fantastic stunts and fight scenes, as funny as (if not more so than) 1 and 2. Johnny Depp is, as always, wonderful- having briefly lost his magic in number 2. The return of Captain Barbosa is also welcome, since I loved him in number 1, and he works equally well as a good guy. Keira Knightly was wonderful once again and, may I say, incredibly sexy! 75% of it's many plots were interesting and understandable.
Bad points: To start off with, Orlando Bloom was in it- and as annoying as ever. Also, it was full of continuity errors and plot holes. I don't wish to spoil the plot for those who haven't seen it yet, but the most obvious was the mystic African woman- who really loves the pirates in 2- yet 90% of 3 she turns out to be a pirate hating goddess. Confused? Not as confused as you are when you see it on screen. Calypso (the goddess, not the ice lolly) is finally released but then immediately turns into a giant and disappears for the rest of the movie. What a waste of a special effect!
I would have given this 5 stars- but Orlando Bloom wasn't stabbed till right at the end, and then he goes and lives! So, for Bloom still being alive at the end of the film, it gets knocked down to 4.
Spiderman 3 - Film
Awesome. Definately one of this years finest movies, (hard to say if it's the best, since it's only May). I'm already a fan of the Spiderman film series. First film was great, and the second had Doc Ock- that's just great, pity he died though. Third film is just terrific.
Spoilers follow- you have been warned!
The plot. Nice and solid, and pretty easy to understand. However, it did feel a bit crowded. First with Spiderman's fandom, Peter and MJ's relationship going well, proposal plans, relationship not going well, Harry revenge theme, Sandman, Black suit, evil/emo Spidey, realisation of what the suit is doing to him, getting rid of the suit, Venom, Venom and Sandman team up, MJ in danger, Peter and Harry team up then death of some people. It was a lot to put in the film. But if you try hard enough, you shouldn't get confused... too much.
The black suit was quite well done, it looked very liquidy- which is a good thing, I assure you. One thing: once it was on Spiderman, I wasn't hugely fond of just the normal suit with a black paint job. I think it could've been a little more like the comic version. But, otherwise fine. Sandman, a mixed bag. Thomas Haden Church looks just like him. Plus, the CGI on him was absolutly brilliant. It looked so realistic (bearing in mind it was a giant moving sand-thing). Venom and Eddie Brock, very well portrayed by Topher Grace, but there wasn't enough Venom considering the hype surrounding his appearance. Harry was also re-done. The whole revenge storyline was nicley finished here, and the great team up between him and Spiderman. Sadly, he couldn't last like this. He just had to get impaled. Oh well, at least he died happily.
No points given to those who spotted Stan Lee, he was very obvious. But Bruce Campbell as the French head-waiter was a marvellous, abeit scene stealing performance. J.K Simmons as always was a terrific J. Jonah Jameson, and everyone around him. Shame about the blood pressure thing.
I've seen it twice. I'm not bragging, but it gave me two chances to make a verdict. First time, I walked out with my family, not knowing what to say. Second time, I walked out with my friends and we went down to the nearby resturant and launched into massive disscusions about the film.
There is only one real thing that annoyed me- the ending. It just felt... incomplete. I personally think it could have used a few more minutes (10 or so would have done it) to tie up the remaining ends and finish it off with a nice Spidey-style ending.
All in all, despite a few things here and there that bugged or confused me (Tobey Maguire just cannot dance), I really enjoyed it. I thought it was awesome. If you haven't seen it (which brings to question why you're reading this spoiler-filled review), go see it. I really think it's worth it.
Windows Vista - Operating System ( I use the term operating system very loosely...)Well... I have insulted it in comics, but now, with the help of using Vista repeatedly at a friend's house and with some more help from people who have to use Vista daily, I can finally make an official review. It took Microsoft 5 years, it's finally here and it has been met with great joy (from Satan, who now wishes to use it as hell's new IT system).
But I can't just slander an operating system. That would defeat the purpose of a review. So, to start off with, everything is see-through. Windows Vista, what do you want transparent today? You can now see the wall through your screen. Instead of just loading the program you wish to use Windows Vista kindly estimates how long it will take to load; but the estimate takes longer to load than the actual program. It makes sense to Microsoft. Then of course all the software you used on XP isn't compatible any more. Even some Vista software isn't compatible, including Vista itself. There are several reported cases of people buying computers over minimum Vista specs or specially designed for Vista and not being capable of running it! It's software sucks anyway. Don't get me started on Office 2007. Or it's apparent fade when you open and close windows. This is something similar to Mac OSX- but while OSX snakes up like it's happy to see you Vista shoots up like it's angry and trying to eat you. It is more backdoors than operating system,-seriously, if you buy Vista it's like putting out a welcome-mat for hackers.
Well, for technical problems. I've hit the main ones. But now for aesthetic and advertising problems which opens up a whole new world of rubbish. It's shiny, very shiny. You have to do a Horatio Caine impression and constantly wear shades just to operate it. It's all blue and covered in Windows logos, making the system look like one big Microsoft advert. It was so hyped and just feels dressed up. Like fashion week where the only piece on show is a rat in last year's dress. It also has so many versions. 6 in all. There is the danger of either picking a crap one so stripped down it's like calling a scaffold a house, or buying one so full of nonsense. It's painfully slow and full of stuff you don't need. Why couldn't they just make 1 version like Mac and call it "Vista Ultimate Home Business Ultra With Knobs On"!
Now, onto Vista's good points. Struggling here. Yes, it has one nice screen saver- the bubbles one. When Microsoft realise their mistake and redesign the system, I hope this is all they keep. But Vista has brought me joy- It's fun to stand outside HMV and laugh at the poor posh people coming out having just bought Vista. I'm sorry to Mac OSX when I previously said Vista was similar. Vista is nothing like Mac and I feel sorry to Mac for insulting it so.
In short, don't be a moron. Don't buy Vista.
Final Fantasy XII (12) - Game, PS2
Hey, cool, I get to make the first review!
Anyway, recently I bought this game, (because of reading a different review) and I love it.
The story follows Vaan, a poor boy who lives in the small city of Dalmasca, in the make-believe world of Ivalice. Being so poor, Vaan resorts to pick-pocketing, but that generally helps you out throughout the game. After the king-to-be dies in battle against the invading forces of Archadia, the princess (Ashe) takes her own life, after a Captain named Basch kills the current king. Dalmasca is taken over by Archadia, and is appointed a new consul. Due to the new consul, they hold a royal party at the palace, where all the treasures that have been taken from the people of Dalmasca are stored. Vaan, a great hero, chooses to try and steal several of these treasures back again- 'for the people of Dalmasca'. He ends up getting captured, and I won't spoil it any further.
It has a great plot, if a little difficult to forsee what happens next, but that is a good thing. You get to choose a party of up to 3 characters from the 6 main ones, plus a couple of 'guests' occasionally. The characters are: Vaan, his (girl)friend Penelo, who looks super-cute with a gun, the 'dashing' sky-pirate Balthier, the strangely attractive rabbit lady Fran, Princess Ashe- who is a bit stubborn, but very strong, especially with Magic- then of course Captain Basch, who is extremely good at killing bosses, which is very helpful, as there are about 35 bosses in total.
The length is amazing, with it taking me roughly 4 hours to get to the first boss, and it could easily take you 150 hours to complete. The side quests, or 'hunts' make it even longer- hunts being a great way to earn cash, while killing things like tomatoes in pyjamas! Well, that's what I think Rogue Tomato looks like. Type it in on Google Images.
The graphics are absolutely amazing, and a great send off for the PS2. Beautiful cities, with great attention to detail, everywhere you go. The cinematics are wonderful, with great lines from the posh chap Balthier, and although being long (the reason it took me 4 hours to get to the first boss), you can skip any one (but you'll never ever want to!)
It's a great plot, with idiot proof controls. It looks kinda complicated, but but its pretty easy when you actually play it, and the density of the controls is very good. A great game, beautiful graphics (and females :D), great plot, and never fails to excite. Action-packed.
